Friday, December 9, 2016

HUSTLER Hollywood is Coming to Indy!

Your Indianapolis Observer seems to have missed the controversy. So, for those who follow such things, here's the official press release:

"HUSTLER Hollywood today responded to community concerns and outcry regarding the location of its proposed Indianapolis retail store along with brand misperceptions by local residents.

"Despite rumors surrounding the proposed HUSTLER Hollywood store in Indianapolis, the company currently has 21 stores throughout the country and is aggressively expanding operations. The company has doubled the number of its retail locations over the past year and plans to have close to 30 locations by the end of 2017.

"When looking at a potential location, HUSTLER Hollywood conducts thorough due diligence in each city with a team made up of lawyers, real estate experts, and its retail executives. All zoning regulations and retail codes from the city are obtained, and each store and its displays are individually tailored to meet all local city requirements. HUSTLER Hollywood never violates city zoning laws and works closely with city officials and agencies to obtain all necessary permits.

"Based on Indianapolis’ qualifications for a retail store, HUSTLER Hollywood is a retail store. The zoning board used discretionary action to reclassify the business after the fact based on emotional and knee-jerk reactions from some of its residents.

"HUSTLER Hollywood has stood distinctly apart from its peers by offering an upscale consumer experience, and unparalleled customer service. HUSTLER Hollywood is an upscale boutique that offers all the top pleasure product brands, lingerie and much more, including a large selection of apparel, sportswear, accessories, jewelry, gifts & novelties, along with bath & body items. Supported by knowledgeable and dedicated staff trained to provide education and recommendations based on individual needs, we are dedicated to ensuring every customer feels welcome and comfortable while experiencing our shopping environment."

HUSTLER Hollywood is an upscale, modern erotic boutique offering sex toys, lingerie, apparel, funny gifts and more to the sexually curious. With Pence as Trump's VP, it seems perfectly logical that HUSTLER would consider the Hoosier metropolis for an outpost.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Be Careful What You Wish For

This Indianapolis Observer is distraught that we're not free of Pence due to Trump's election.

Hoosiers were able to mitigate some of his worst actions but as VP he'll have a free hand to redraw the face of America.

Did all the Trumpites realize they were also voting for a zealot who favors extremist Christian theocracy?

Read it "Mike Pence Will Be the Most Powerful Christian Supremacist in U.S. History".

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Mike Pence: "Dignity Wraith"

"For just a fleeting moment this past weekend, it looked as if Mike Pence might escape from his decaying orbit around Donald Trump with what is left of his dignity intact."

That's from a post in today's -- you can read it here:"Owned by Trump: In his final capitulation, all Mike Pence gave away was his autonomy, integrity and dignity"

But, nope: our governor continues his death spiral around the Orange Clown.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Pence Fails Hoosiers Once Again

Indiana is so lucky that Gov. Pence was off-loaded to the Orange Clown's campaign.

He won't be around for another term to continue embarrassing the Hoosier State, as he did (again) with this maneuver:

"Pence won't pardon a wrongly convicted man": "[Keith] Cooper filed a pardon request to the parole board and they unanimously voted that he should be pardoned and have his two felony charges taken off of his criminal record.... Pence refused, saying it needs to stand 'out of respect for the judicial process'.”

Never mind righting a judicial process wrong!

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Pence Praises Putin

Need more evidence that the Orange Psycho is messing with Mike Pence's brain?

The Republican presidential nominee praised Vladimir Putin's leadership ability during the NBC forum Wednesday night, touting his "82% approval rating".

Today, Pence echoed those remarks (who would have thought that two top Republicans would be caught saying lauditory things about a former KGB agent).

"I think it's inarguable that Vladimir Putin has been a stronger leader in his country than Barack Obama has been in this country," Pence affirmed to CNN.

Read it all here.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

"A Sobbing Pence Returned to the Bus"

Gov. Mike Pence's skittishness about being aligned with the Orange Clown has caught the attention of a prominent satirist.

Check out what Andy Borowitz writes about the vice-presidential candidate in "The New Yorker": "Pence Recaptured After Fleeing Trump Campaign Bus"

Note that he's picked up that the Hoosier State doesn't want him back here either: "News that Pence had vanished touched off a panic in Indiana, where residents feared that he might return to resume his political career.".

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Pence Ridiculed on Twitter (Again)

#PeriodsforPence began after he signed that stupid "anti"abortion bill last spring (funerals required for spontaneous miscarriages? really?).

Now that our failed gov has bailed on his re-election bid and signed himself up for a lifetime of ridicule as the Orange Clown's running mate, there's a new Twitter meme: #PenceScience

It beggars description how an allegedly well-educated man (BA, JD) can be so incredibly stupid.